The Balance
by whoeverIamloves
Summary: An overlay vignette from the fight in the Galuna Island arc, when Gray almost uses Iced Shell twice in a row and Natsu stops him. His perspective of his actions and reflections on Ul and the nature of Ice Magic. One-shot.


Disclaimer: I own nothing.

This is during the Galuna Island arc.

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To be an Ice Mage, you have to get used to being open.

That's what Ul had taught him, though she'd used different words when he was a child.

He'd had to learn to open himself to the cold.

He'd opened his mind to it, intentionally dedicating himself to Ul's teaching in the snow.

He'd opened his heart to it, holding onto Ul's love as the only warmth he needed.

He'd opened his body to it, practicing the stances that offered the least protection from the elements while letting him draw on their power.

It's why an Ice Mage's strongest stance consists of feet planted wide apart, strong legs, open hips, pulled-back shoulders, and stiff arms held away from his body. It's why his body had to move, to provide a venue for the energy of his element to flow from his hands where they met—one open, one closed—to channel the magic without trapping it inside himself. It's why single-handed creations were less stable than double-handed ones— there could be no balance, and the flow was interrupted.

His entire being had to be open to let the cold in, as well as to let the cold out.

It's why Ul made him train for months, kicking his feet wider and wider apart, pulling his elbows away from his body, jerking back on his shoulders with her other hand planted in his back, before she'd allowed him to try drawing any magic from the cold.

He never fully understood until he saw Iced Shell. As he saw Ul standing solid, unmoving as a sculpture, arms crossed at the elbows, he'd felt a chill that had everything to do with the magic she'd taught him.

He'd seen that Iced Shell is all about closing. He could almost see the power coming up through her legs in her strong, wide open, all-forward stance.

But she was closed.

Her crossed arms blocked the magic's exit from her hands, and her unmoving posture froze it inside her. She drew up more and more ice energy into her body, causing it to reverberate in the ground and the air around her when it collided with itself inside her. It had nowhere to go, until she released it.

The release of so much ice magic—it's why it's called a shell. The caster can channel it as he or she chooses, which is why it can be used as a weapon, but in the end it will freeze everything from the outside in. An explosion of magic power, then a vacuum, then a slow implosion as everything inside the blast is turned to ice as the ice magic overpowers all other forms of being.

It's why Iced Shell costs the caster his or her body. Flesh cannot survive so much raw energy.

It's also why Ul's spirit could survive, and why Gray knew his own spirit would continue to protect the world from Deliora. He was open to the ice, as Ul had been. His soul was already infused with its magic. Therefore, his soul would not cease to exist in the vacuum any more than it would escape the vacuum.

When he'd wandered after Ul entombed herself, he'd closed himself. He didn't train for a long time. He'd lost his second family, again to Deliora. It hurt too much to open himself again to the ice that had claimed Ul and cost him the closest thing he'd ever had to a brother.

But the Master of Fairy Tail had seen through him. Slowly, so slowly, Grandpa Makarov and the older Fairy Tail wizards had begun to work in through his defenses. For 3 years they didn't give up on him, even though Gray had closed himself off to weakness, to love, to everything warm in his spirit.

He'd hoped it would erase all the cold inside him, but it didn't. He knew he couldn't survive his own magic if the cold was the only thing inside him, so he hadn't used it. He couldn't use it. But it was still inside him. It was already a part of his soul—the magic of the ice.

And then Natsu, of all people, was there with the opposite element. Nobody else could have been so much his opposite, and so Natsu alone of all people naturally grated against his very being, demanding a reaction and obliterating his cautious apathy.

Forcing him open.

He'd meant to learn from the great wizards of Fairy Tail, but he'd been afraid to train with magic again until Natsu pissed him off enough to make him forget his fear. And then, somehow, he had a rival and a best friend, and yet another family. And as their warmth overtook him, Ul's ice magic came rushing back to him in balance.

But now he was facing Deliora once again, watching for a third time as its existence threatened his family. He'd learned the true value of opening himself, and had learned to do it intentionally, fighting through all his natural instincts to close, thanks to the help of Gramps and Natsu and Erza and the rest of Fairy Tail. They were the reason he now had the power to protect them.

This time when he closed, it would be for a good reason. Not simple pain, like when he lost Ul and Lyon, or remorseful shame as it had been a few moments ago when he'd nearly used it against the terrorist Lyon had become.

No, this time, it would be to carry on Ul's legacy of protecting the people closest to him. Fairy Tail would live on because he was going to close Deliora inside himself.

But then there was Natsu, once again. Standing in his way just like he had for the past 7 years. Telling him… telling Gray that the reason he'd stopped him from using Iced Shell a few moments ago was that he didn't want him to die.

Natsu had forced him open seven years ago, and now he was forcing Gray to stay open.

He didn't want Gray to use that magic. Natsu was going to stand in the gap and destroy the darkness, just to prevent Gray from sacrificing himself.

Never again.

He'd never try to close himself again. Not as long as he had Fairy Tail. He'd make sure to punch the Flame Dragon later to save face, but for now, he remembered why he was strong enough to fight the monster.

It was because he was open to Fairy Tail, and their magic had become part of him just as much as the ice magic had, and flowed through his spirit just as much as the power of the cold, keeping him in balance.

Their magic was what opened the Ice Mage and kept him open, giving him the power to protect them.

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